Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
