Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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