THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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