"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize