I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
