remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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