Buhtt sex?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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