So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
