Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
