Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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