I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
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She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
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Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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