What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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