I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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