I cut my penus on the lid.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm just crazy horny about you
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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