Porn is love you can see.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
