I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
