remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
