Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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