How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?