I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize