so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
