erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
