the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
