thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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