I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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