oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
