I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
