dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
