What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
