girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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