I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
