I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
