so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
