writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize