Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
