those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
