You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize