i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
