I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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