do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
