Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
