the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
