well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Still dying that you shit outside
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
