Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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