So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
