I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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