For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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