Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize