Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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