Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
how drunk are you?
Several
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize