if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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