You smell like a Billy Joel song
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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