Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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