I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
