Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
