I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm having to shit out rocks
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