God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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