After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
