try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
