Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
